Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Little Miss Bo Peep,
Lost all of her sheep,
But, she gave assurance,
That she had insurance,
So they paid without a peep.



Star light, star bright.

First star I see tonight.

I wish I may, I wish I might,

Have the wish I wish tonight,

And God bless Mommy and Daddy,

And my dog Snot!



When I was in elementary school many, many long years ago I walked to school with the little girl that lived down the street from me. I thought of her as "Ann of the fair face and golden locks." Even then I was intrigued with the creatures. One day I told her that I had heard on the radio that they were building a dam site better than required for a reservoir outside of town.

She shuddered, clamped her hand over her mouth and dropped her books on the sidewalk. She said I should never use such foul, profane language in her presence again! When I got home I told my mother what I said and she chased me and my dog through the screen door and out into the yard yelling at me never to use such foul, profane language in her presence again!

The next day "Ann of the fair face,etc." deigned to accompany me to and from school if I would agree never to use such language in her presence again...henceforth and forever! I said, "Oh, hell yes!" I joyfully cried, confident of my feral charm.

I told my dog Snot that I didn't think anyone understood me but him. He promptly peed on my leg while watching Ann of the etc. run home as fast as her little legs would carry her.

But, she forgave me the next day when I presented her with some treats that I had wrapped with a nice red, fancy bow in a golden box. She didn't have to know that they were some chewies that my mother had bought for Snot.

I told my father what I had done and he couldn't keep a straight face around my mother for days. I knew which side my little butt was buttered on .








I learned as a boy that frogs don't cause warts

...toads do!


My mother once gave me a book entitled,

"The Emotional Lives of Cats."

It had an introduction followed by 400 blank pages.


Lucy had some charm, it's true,

'Cause Lucy did what Lucy do!