Sunday, July 5, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
My cup runneth over...so does my desk!
Friday, June 26, 2009
When I hear life is a "Journey" one more time...
I'm going to demand I see your ticket!
My inner voice is bringing out my need for
a hearing aid.
Life is like, "I just can't believe I did that!"
I never quiet rise to the occasion when I
can crawl under it.
When my coat-of-arms dropped off the wall,
I was crest-fallen.
I wasn't born yesterday...I was born in the last century
My family sold me to some gypsies when I was three.
It worked until they demanded a refund.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
yet." Try a bouquet of shrinking violets, very loosely arranged.
To say: "I need my space, babe!" Try a dozen bachelor's-buttons
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
My daffodills hold no thrills.
I look at the gladioli and just sigh.
My wisteria has diptheria.
It'll be the curse,
That comes down,
When a green thumb turns brown.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Yo, Count, as you can see I’m beginning to talk like my trucker buddies.
I guess it’s ‘cause I’m around them so much, and I’m so well known now
in trucker circles that they all love to give me a saucer of milk and talk to me.
I think I’ve become a sort of a shotgun-seat psychologist to these men
and women. Out on Interstate 39, rolling along at 70 per, next stop 350
miles away, they start to unburden themselves to me. Their love life,
their divorces, their children, their operations, their goals, their
bills, and the price of gas. Of course, being a cat, a superior creature,
it’s hard to grasp their problems and concerns, especially the price of gas.
So, every time we make a stop at the rest area, I take care of my business
And go over to the store to see if I can con them out of a saucer of milk before
my trucker comes along and buys me a can of (YUK!) evaporated milk.
At any rate, I go to the door of the restaurant and a trucker or two will come
along and let me in and I run back to the kitchen and do my act and the
cooks give me treats and then put me out the back door. Then I run around to
my truck and wait for my good buddy to come back and…
“We’re On the Road Again!”
Mercy! Strutz the Cat
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Adam was the author of sin, and I wish he had
Friday, March 27, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
LITTLE BOY'S PRAYER
Star light, star bright.
First star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight,
And God bless Mommy and Daddy,
And my dog Snot!
I USED TO WALK TO SCHOOL...
When I was in elementary school many, many long years ago I walked to school with the little girl that lived down the street from me. I thought of her as "Ann of the fair face and golden locks." Even then I was intrigued with the creatures. One day I told her that I had heard on the radio that they were building a dam site better than required for a reservoir outside of town.
She shuddered, clamped her hand over her mouth and dropped her books on the sidewalk. She said I should never use such foul, profane language in her presence again! When I got home I told my mother what I said and she chased me and my dog through the screen door and out into the yard yelling at me never to use such foul, profane language in her presence again!
The next day "Ann of the fair face,etc." deigned to accompany me to and from school if I would agree never to use such language in her presence again...henceforth and forever! I said, "Oh, hell yes!" I joyfully cried, confident of my feral charm.
I told my dog Snot that I didn't think anyone understood me but him. He promptly peed on my leg while watching Ann of the etc. run home as fast as her little legs would carry her.
But, she forgave me the next day when I presented her with some treats that I had wrapped with a nice red, fancy bow in a golden box. She didn't have to know that they were some chewies that my mother had bought for Snot.
I told my father what I had done and he couldn't keep a straight face around my mother for days. I knew which side my little butt was buttered on .
VERY SHORT POEM
I learned as a boy that frogs don't cause warts
My mother once gave me a book entitled,
"The Emotional Lives of Cats."
It had an introduction followed by 400 blank pages.
Lucy had some charm, it's true,
'Cause Lucy did what Lucy do!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
A young man named Sealyham,
Filled his balloon with helium,
Caught a breeze,
Stifiled a sneeze,
And said,"I'm off to New Zelium!"
There was a maiden named Thalia,
Who despised failure.
Beautiful and chaste,
She refused to marry in haste,
Until offered Queen's regalia.
A new planet, named Simoneades, was discovered last week by astronomers in California. How it got to California is not known.
A man was finally found after a nationwide search for a male who refuses to take charge of his tv's remote control.
TIP OF THE WEEK: You can put new wine in old bottles. Who's going to know, or mention it?