Count Sneaky's Electric Notebook

HISTORICAL NOTE OF DUBIOUS ORIGIN:

In 1563 dancing bears were taught to do the tango.

They were never quite able to do it well, and the

practice was abandoned in royal courts by 1575

when the bears unionized and were sold to gypsies

who taught them, quite sucessfully, to do the

fandango! They adapted to caravan life and can still

be found in remote corners of Europe and Asia

where they now do the Texas two-step and the

Viennese Waltz .

IN AN EFFORT TO PROVIDE Social graces and

a little enjoyment in these hard times, the Count

publishes the secret of doing the WALTZ:

1. Grip. (when the music starts.) Dip, then Trip,

1 and 2, Dip, then Trip, 1 and 2... and repeat until music stops.

Look into her eyes and try to convince her you aren't

really the Dip you seemed to be.

NOW A LITTLE LATE NEWS:

A little, very late, breaking February news that is.

THE GROUNDHOG

Punxsutawney Phil

went over the hill,

Refused to predict the weather.

Said Channel 4 could do it better!

Weatherman Bill

Was brought into fill,

But he quit too,

For a post at Channel 2.

C.S.

Remember, if the groundhog sees his shadow it means six more

weeks of weather reports from the Weather Channel.

NEWS FROM SODA CITY THIS WEEK.

Sadly, the Soda City Sentinel reported this week that

Bo Cooterhugger died this week. He was the first in the county

to rediscover the lost art of making Swamp Dew, a very potent form

of moonshine that had thought to be a forgotten process.

He was buried Tuesday at Sunset Memorial Park, his body

in one coffin and his liver in another. He will be missed.

The Soda City Genetic Research Foundation reported this week that its studies revealed that webbed feet are an inherited mutation in families

that eat frog legs more than three times a week. "Further studies are

required to establish a definitive link" said Dr. Fletcher Firewall.

The Soda City Sentinel reminds you that while "Necessity" may be the

mother of invention, "Advertising" is its father.

The Immortal Mark Twain once observed:

"What sir, would the people of the earth be

without women? They would be scarce, sir,

almighty scarce!"