Monday, February 23, 2009


All times and gathering places are subject to change.
Don't call...we just run the notices, people!

1. The Society for the Preservation of Antique Water Closets reports that it is flush with new members and is getting a handle on it's recent cash overflow problems, reports President Basil Bubonik.
2. Ye Olde Societie for Ye Preservation of Antique Spellinque meets
on ye first Maundy of ye olde moonth. Discombobulation about ye tyme
of ye meetings is hereby rendered franductable. Jayme Poltroon, Secry.and Pettifogger-in- Chyef.
3. NOTICE: The society for the Preservation of Extinct Species has called it quits because it cannot recruit new members to replace the older, departed members. It hopes, according to Fred Trilobite, Founder, to reorganize at some time in the future.
4. Reservations are being taken now for the Annual Artist's Ball in
City next month. "You do not have to be able to draw to attend!"
emphasized Margo Modjeska, organizer and life class model.
5. The Worshipful Company of Melon Stompin', Seed Spittin', Stump Jumpin', Pumpkin Rollin', Hog Rangers over at Soda City have their
Annual Barbeque, Hose Down, and Initiation Ceremonies next week. Get in touch with "Skeeter" Shinglehammer for details and tickets. All proceeds go to The Soda City Twilight Home. It pomises to be a goat-gagger!
6. A book signing will be held at Grabwell's Book Boutique and Bar in the city all this week to celebrate the publication of Vicky Vichyssoise's new book entitled "Jump-Starting Your Ego With Vicky V." It's Miss V.'s
first tome and was published by the Woodchuck Press, a cheap, vanity press operation of a major publisher. Miss V. will autograph copies and buy drinks from 5:oo on.
7. NOTICE: Evening classes in "The Zen of Feng Shui and Yoga" will be featured held at the Upstate Bucklehuck Technical College for all interested seniors and others on the 18th Hole of Life. Call Kitty Wampus at ext. 999.9 after 5:00 except on weekends, holidays, and uneven weeks.
8. The Shinola Society will hold educational Seminars for those wishing to be able to become qualified and discriminating members. Call or come your local chapter's lodgings.
9. The Notary Sojac over at Silo City has retired and a replacement is being sought. Congratulations to Heidi Alfresco for 35 years of service.
Heidi plans to operate a website and do a little "horsin' around" as she puts it at the Silo City Riding Academy and Saddle Clinic.
10. LAST CHANCE: Sign up now for "Recondite Wines and Esoteric
Viniagrettes of Obscure Hostiliers of Chaumont and Montpelier", at Lugnut University Extension Division for Adult Education and Diversion. Contact: Finan Haddi, ext: 00012390

We will continue to post notices as they are availale or amusing.


Jackie S. said...

Hi Sneaky,
I'm thinking you need to add another check to your other "reaction" checks -- maybe something like "you've got to be kidding" (which, of course, you are), "you've got too much time on your hands" (which, of course, you do) or "just plain nutty" (we KNOW that one fits).
Keep on keeping on...

Son of Hin said...

I didn't know that Counts did such lowly jobs as to keep us abreast of important meetings, but we peasants appreciate knowing about gatherings so relevant to our interests. Neither the Morganton Times Herald not the Charlotte Observer mentioned any of these. For some strange reason I am also reminded of of this quote from Mark Twain: “It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either."
In that spirit I will continue to watch for the Count's revelations.
Prince Hua, son of Hin